| Keywords: | Communication; Preventing Conflict; Needs; Feelings; Different Perceptions; Communication Tools |
| Objectives: | Learning the techniques of strategic communication. Developing skills in strategic communication. Being aware of your feelings and needs and how to communicate them. |
| Target group: | Small groups of same-sex migrants. A high level of language skills is necessary. |
| Duration: | 60 minutes |
| Methodology step-by-step: | 1. Ask the participants the following questions: a. What is “I-speech”, “YOU-speech” and “WE-speech”? b. What is the difference between criticizing behaviour and criticizing someone’s personality? 2. Explain the concept of ‘I SPEECH, YOU SPEECH and WE SPEECH’ I SPEECH is a technique of strategic communication. It offers the possibility to express needs and wishes in a constructive and concrete way. I SPEECH involves behaviour and feelings without disregarding the person. It doesn’t lead to conflict avoidance, rather it is about opening the channels of communication in order to discuss the original reasons for the conflict. I SPEECH shows a willingness to communicate and search for mutually acceptable solutions. With I SPEECH we criticize behaviour, not personality. Structure of I SPEECH a. “When I see that you…” We talk about the other person’s action. b. “…I feel”… or… “ I wish to…” We talk about our own reaction without self-accusation or justification. c. “I wish…” or “I would like…” We talk about the result we wish, without demanding it. For example: When you tell me to shut up, I feel hurt. I wish we could talk and you would tell me what is really bothering you. Comparison of I SPEECH, YOU SPEECH and WE SPEECH: Example of YOU SPEECH “Okay Nikola, can you stop talking? You are really inconsiderate!” Example of WE SPEECH “We all know that Nikola is inconsiderate and never listens when other people are speaking.” Example of I SPEECH “Nikola, I really mind when you interrupt me because it gives me the feeling that I am not respected. I would like to be heard and I care about your opinion.” 3. Work in pairs to complete the following exercise. Think of a situation that has made you angry and explain the circumstances to your partner. By using role play, the partner has to give their spontaneous reaction. They should then formulate their anger in an I message. 4. Sit the group in a circle and ask everyone to complete the following statements: “When communicating with people, I don’t like it when someone……….” They should then say “In that kind of situation I react…………” 5. Whilst still sitting in the circle, ask the participants to write a message of praise to someone they know on a piece of paper. Put the messages into the hat. Take out one message at a time and read them out loud. The participants have to determine if the message is formulated in I SPEECH. If not, they should say how they would formulate it in I SPEECH. NOTE: It is recommended to practise this activity first in a group in which conflict is unlikely. If the participants don’t want to share a situation which makes them feel angry, they can do the activity alone and write the situation on a piece of paper or even draw it. |
| Resources needed: | A piece of paper for each participant Pens or pencils A hat or bag for the third exercise |
| Challenges: | Conflict between participants may arise during this exercise. It is necessary to be well prepared to deal with such a situation. |